Wild wilderness

"Xiao Zhou, what do you think?"

"What?" Xiao Zhou, a surveyor who was absent-mindedly thinking about how to strike up a conversation with the woman upstairs, was not clear about what they were talking about.

"The stocks of Company C?" Demolition expert Lao Zhang had a knowing expression on his face. "Looks like you're thinking about women again, huh?"

"No way!" Xiao Zhou's face couldn't hide his embarrassment, which explained everything.

"You're still too young," Lao Zhang said, suddenly reminded of his own youth. He couldn't help but let out a bitter smile and continued, "You have to seize the opportunity as soon as possible, or you'll regret it when you're old."

Xiao Zhou seemed to have caught a handle. "Lao Zhang, what do you regret?"

There was laughter in the car.

"It's all in the past," Lao Zhang said. "Now the most important thing is to make money."

Everyone agreed.

"Damn capitalism," Lao Zhang cursed. "If you ask me, this big butt is a punishment sent by the heavens to punish these capitalists."

"But now those capitalists want to make money with this big butt," geotechnical engineer Lao Liu said, "and you still have to work for them."

"Lao Liu, don't laugh. I've been working for them my whole life, don't I know that?" Lao Zhang said, sticking out his face. "I'm just venting a little."

The engineering vehicle carrying the nine of them stopped at the foot of the widely known "big butt" mountain. There was already a construction team waiting for them there. Their job today was to guide the construction team to drill some appropriately deep holes on the big butt mountain at the marked locations between the two buttocks, in order to install explosives for blasting. Afterwards, they would hand it over to another team to build a geothermal power plant at the "anus" location where the two buttocks emitted a stinky hot air.

It was said to be the idea of the mayor of City Y, claiming that it could alleviate the discomfort caused by these gases and provide a stable source of electricity for the people. It might even create a "unique tourist attraction."

From the perspective of the mountain, the big butt mountain was not large, with the highest point about forty-five meters above the ground. However, it was quite steep, and the smooth curves formed a firm butt shape. Combined with the marble surface, it was not suitable for driving. Everyone put on high-quality masks and started walking up the mountain, but they still couldn't completely block the smell. The construction team followed behind the engineering team, carrying three machines for drilling holes. These machines would be operated manually to complete the preparatory work before the first explosion on the big butt mountain. According to the plan, after the first explosion, vehicles would be able to drive to the top of the mountain.

"Are you afraid?" Lao Zhang suddenly asked, his voice not very clear due to the mask covering his mouth.

"Afraid of what?" Lao Liu asked in return.

"We still haven't figured out where this big butt came from," Lao Zhang said. "If it was placed here by an alien, and we blow it up, what if they come after us?"

"Then we'll reason with them," Lao Liu said. "Think about it, such a big thing, placed here without a word, and it even emits a foul smell. It completely disregards whether everyone can bear it or not."

"We're also suffocating," Xiao Zhou said. "The air conditioning doesn't work either."

"Anyway, let's just plug up the farting asshole first," Lao Liu said. "We can't directly plug it up, after all, the pressure is here. I don't know how they're going to build the entire power plant."

Eight months ago, the big butt mountain suddenly appeared in the wilderness on the outskirts of City Y in the northwest. There was a village ruin nearby, but no one had lived there for over ten years. So when the big butt mountain appeared, there were no witnesses. "No one knows if it drilled out of the ground or fell from the sky," at least that's what the mayor of City Y said. The only thing that could be confirmed was that a magnitude 4 earthquake occurred that day, which was related to it.

Naturally, the big butt mountain became famous. Its mysterious origin, unique shape, and feces-like smell attracted the attention of the whole world to this relatively unknown small city in northwest China. Scientists, experts in supernatural phenomena, religious figures, and millions of passersby all expressed their opinions and insights, and even made astonishing assertions or predictions.

An alien prank? That was the most common idea. A gift from God? What a boring god! Quantum fluctuations? Don't you know that the probability of that is basically zero? Some people believed that it was a collective test by some existence on us humans, and even more people claimed that it reflected the nature of this world, which had no rules and no meaning... In short, until now, no one has been able to provide a convincing answer.

In the midst of all this noise and commotion, City Y was in agony. Due to the big butt mountain being upwind from City Y, the stinky smell released by the big butt mountain would rush into the city without reservation, entering everyone's nostrils and lungs, making them feel nauseous and unable to eat. The mayor said at a press conference, "We have to take action. This smell not only affects our appetite and mood, but research has shown that the components of this smell can also cause global warming and teenage depression worldwide. And teenagers represent the future of the world, we can't take risks."

Therefore, three months ago, City Y conducted a project bidding and ultimately chose the most cost-effective construction plan for building a power plant and tourist attraction.

That's why Lao Zhang and Xiao Zhou and their group of people were standing on this smooth "big butt," directing the workers to prepare for drilling the first explosive hole.

"Slow down, this rock is very hard," Lao Liu watched from the side, needing to record the drilling time.

Lao Zhang and Xiao Zhou actually had nothing to do now. They took out their smartphones to take pictures of the "anus" emitting the stinky hot air.

The drilling began.

Vibrations came through the rock. Lao Zhang and Xiao Zhou stood on a high point of the buttock, looking down. They saw a light brown gas continuously surging out, dispersing in the air and blending into the already gloomy world. Xiao Zhou took out his smartphone and focused on the "anus," but the autofocus seemed to have targeted the wrong object, resulting in a blurry image.

"Show this to the woman you're thinking about, she'll definitely be with you right away," Lao Zhang laughed. "Tell her it's your anus."

"Stay away from me." Xiao Zhou raised his phone to focus again. "You old pervert."

"Oh, we're all perverts. I'm just more straightforward."

Xiao Zhou was about to press the shutter button to take the picture, when suddenly there was a tremor under his feet. He couldn't hold onto his phone, and it fell straight down, into the light brown gas, as if it had fallen into the "anus" he wanted to capture.

Xiao Zhou held his head in his hands, seemingly unable to believe that his phone had just left him.

"Was that an earthquake?" Lao Zhang suddenly changed his expression and asked nervously. Then he suddenly had a bad feeling, as if something unfortunate would happen if they stayed here. "We need to leave this place."

"It's just a small earthquake, it's nothing," geotechnical engineer Lao Liu said. "There are no conditions for a major earthquake here, so don't worry. Let's continue drilling."

"Damn it, my phone!" Xiao Zhou walked a little further away. "It's near the anus, let me see if I can retrieve it." Xiao Zhou hadn't given up yet.

"You want to retrieve something near the anus too," a worker guarding the diesel generator next to him said.

"Damn it, it cost over six thousand yuan!" Xiao Zhou was a bit annoyed. "Do you have any magnets or something like that?"

Before he could get a reply, another tremor came.

This time, everyone became nervous.

What's going on? Did the construction cause it?

Everyone looked at Lao Liu, hoping he could provide an answer.

But Lao Liu also looked confused and could only say to pause for a moment.

Then there was an even more intense shaking. Suddenly, the sky darkened, and everyone looked up to see a giant hand descending from the sky.

Before anyone could react, the hand landed on the spot where they had drilled before, and then it grabbed twice, as if it really was someone's butt and it was a bit itchy and needed to scratch.

Lao Liu, Lao Zhang, and over a dozen workers were instantly flattened, blood, flesh, and excrement splattered all over the ground. Xiao Zhou fell between the little finger and ring finger, narrowly escaping a fatal disaster. But he was plunged into extreme shock and fear, unable to move, sliding down the butt crack, and then passed out.

Afterwards, the big butt mountain disappeared.

People found Xiao Zhou and several other survivors in the wilderness left behind after the big butt mountain disappeared. When they woke up, they recounted their experiences - the earthquake, the giant hand descending from the sky, and death. They didn't see how the big butt mountain disappeared, nor did they know how they survived.

Scientists, experts in supernatural phenomena, religious figures, and millions of passersby around the world began to express their opinions and insights again. Some said it was the hand of God, some said it was the claw of the devil, some said it was a portal from a parallel world to this world that happened to be occupied by someone's buttocks, and some insisted that it was an alien prank. There were even those who were more convinced that it was a manifestation of the world's lack of rules and meaning.

The air in City Y returned to simple smog. Xiao Zhou no longer went out and wore the black gloves he had never dared to take off because he developed intermittent seizures and a fear of hands. Experts said it was PTSD, and no one knew if it could be cured.

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