Me? You can call me Xiao Wu. I am a dream inducer salesperson, specializing in various sales methods such as door-to-door, phone, internet, and immersive techniques. Of course, this is not important to you; the most important thing is: do you want to have a beautiful dream? Please don't close the door, I am not some strange religious missionary, I am just a salesperson trying to make a living, selling legal and compliant products - with proper licenses, safe and reliable health supplements.
You don't need it? I'm sorry, but that's because you haven't heard my introduction yet.
No no no, it's my fault for not explaining clearly. I'm not selling anything for hair loss, and I didn't come to your house just because I saw you were bald. If you ask me, you actually suit the bald look very well. That shining bald head matches your temperament.
Thank you, I'm glad I caught your interest.
Of course, of course, I will be concise and won't take up too much of your time.
What I want to sell is this, a small potion. After injecting it into your body, you will have continuous beautiful dreams for the next week.
It must be safe, absolutely safe. Its mechanism, in simple terms, is some biological nanobots, from the high-tech startup company Bitdream. They will enter the brain with the blood, analyze the patterns of your brain, and find the most suitable dream for you.
Please rest assured, there will be no privacy issues at all. The materials used by these nanobots can be completely metabolized, and no active nanobot will leave your body.
You mentioned side effects? There will be no side effects, or the biggest side effect is that you may feel more thirsty, but that's all, maybe a slight headache.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
The truth about the world? I don't understand...
This is not compliant... I'm sorry, I don't have the right to enter the customer's home.
You invite me? That's not good either, our product is not very expensive, it shouldn't take up too much of your time... Ah! What are you doing?!
Where is this place?
Why would you do such a thing?
Are you a super villain? Destroy the world? Is there anything more absurd and ridiculous than this?
How dare I? I'm just a powerless salesperson, not very successful either - I haven't sold anything for several days. People like you, living in a detached house, will never understand our hardships. In your eyes, we will always be lower-class people. Inferior! Trash! Ignorant and meaningless waste! Isn't that right?
Of course, you don't care, what does it mean to you? I hate people like you, who are used to a life of abundance, never worrying about tomorrow. You only need to care about your own philosophical beliefs, bullshit ideology.
I don't understand those things, I don't want to understand, or maybe... I am already transcendent!
Didn't expect that, did you? Stupid criminal, I am a god-like figure pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger! I have unlimited power; even if you attack me here, you can't hurt me at all. The doomsday magic machine you spent twenty years creating is just a joke.
Hahaha!
Destroy it!
I am a hero!
People worship me, admire me, love me.
People erect statues for me, shoot movies related to me, write my legendary stories into novels and poems.
People name newly discovered stars and organisms after me.
Countless men and women want to share a bed with me.
My birthday has become a festival celebrated by all humanity.
What a wonderful life.
The only side effects are a slight headache and thirst.
I woke up on the floor bed in my rented house, silently calculating the time for the next distribution of universal basic income currency $UBI. It's twenty-one days away, the time for the next beautiful dream.